Monday, September 13, 2010

The Green Devil Strikes Again - Chapter 7


"Through The Dimensional Vortex"








            Before heading out, we made a quick stop at Melissa’s farmhouse, which was a few miles away.  We would need group transportation for our journey, since Rob and I were the only ones who could fly.  We decided on using the old cart that stood in the stable yard.
            It was originally suggested that I use the Spell Book to find an incantation that would enable all of us to fly.  Unfortunately, after using the index, it was discovered by that some of the pages were missing.  With them, some of the spells were lost forever—including the flight spell.
            The old cart had been used decades ago by Melissa’s grandfather to deliver eggs to market.  These days, the antique was pretty much kept around as an ornament in the stable yard.  It had been kept in excellent condition over the years; only being used for the occasional hay ride.  The front bench was cushioned and the back had been fitted with brackets to hold removable seats when not full of hay.  We found two bucket seats in the stable and fit them into place.
            Attaching a length of strong rope to the front of the cart, I strapped Rob into a harness.  We tested his strength at pulling the cart.  Since bumpy backroads were a distinct possibility, we tested the rig with Rob both on the ground and slightly airborne.  After thoroughly testing the ‘robot-and-buggy’ rig, we all climbed aboard and headed off in the direction of the vortex.
            “How far is it to the dimensional vortex?” asked Lisa.  She and Cindy were sitting in the back of the cart, while Melissa and I were in the front.
            “.521-km,” responded Rob.
            “Rob, describe the dimensional vortex for us,” I asked.
            Rob rotated his head back 180-degrees to face us.  This was possible because his eyes where not used to ‘see’ in the traditional sense.  It was his sensors that continued to keep us on the right course.
            “The dimensional vortex is one of thousands on this planet alone.  They are completely invisible and at the present time, undetectable by your current scientific means.”
            “How can you detect them, then?” asked Melissa.
            “I am not from this dimension.”
            The cart turned onto a smaller side road.  We began bouncing around.
            “Excuse me?” perked up Cindy, responding to Rob’s last comment.
            “I was commandeered by Lived Neerg over 2.4-quans ago,” stated Rob, switching on his turbos and lifting slightly off the ground.  That may have helped him, but the cart continued to bounce.
            “What’s a quan?” asked Lisa.
            “A quan is equivalent to 63.19-years.”
            “Doesn’t this thing have shocks?” asked Cindy in a very bumpy staccato.
            Ignoring her, I asked Rob where he was from.
            “I am from Living Land,” he stated.
            “Then you know all about Jingleland and those other places.  Why didn’t you say something before.  Now we’ll have no problem finding our way,” stated Lisa.
            “Negative.  While I was built at the Living Land Amalgamated Robotics and Artificial Intelligence Manufacturing Company, Incorporated, I was not activated until I arrived in this dimension.  It is only through searching my back memory chips that I have found out the data that I currently relate.”
            “Translation?” Lisa asked me.
            “He’s just now starting to remember stuff.”
            “Affirmative.”
            The cart pulled up to a large maple tree.  It was an extraordinary looking tree, though it did seem a bit out of place, standing majestically in the middle of a small field.  The tree was knotty and covered the ground with a considerable amount of shade.  In the middle of the tree was a large hole approximately a foot in diameter.
            “Where’s the vortex?” asked Melissa, looking around.
            “There,” pointed Rob to the large hole.
            “And just how do we fit into a hole in a tree?” asked Cindy.
            “Size reduction is required,” stated Rob.
            “Not again,” moaned Lisa.
            “How,” I asked.
            Peering into the black hole, it didn’t look very deep—maybe about eight inches.  The bottom looked somewhat rotted, but beyond that, it was quite ordinary.
            “What about the Green Devil’s spell book?” suggested Melissa, unstrapping it from Rob’s back.
            “Good idea,” I said.
            Placing it on the front bench, we flipped through the big old pages looking for some sort of shrinking spell.  The book was full of odd sketches and diagrams.
            “It’s amazing that this book is in English,” noted Lisa.
            “It is part of the powers of the book,” stated Rob, “it will appear to be in the language of the reader.  It has the ability to appear in over 36,000 languages.”
            “That’s amazing,” noted Melissa, “are there many others like it?”
            “Negative.  ‘The Spell Book of Androganine’ is one of a kind.  It is as old as any cultures’ recorded history.”
            “Remind me to input this thing into your memory,” I said.  “Here it is: ‘Reduction Spell: Animate’ and there’s another one, ‘Reduction Spell: Inanimate.’  Let’s give them a shot.”
            “Try the inanimate one first,” suggested Lisa.
            “Good thinking.  We’ll shrink the cart.”
            Everyone stood a few paces back from the cart.  I rested the book across Rob’s outstretched arms and began to read out aloud.  The book instructed me to hold my arms out toward the object and repeat the listed words.
            “This looks awfully hokey,” whispered Lisa.
            “Shhhh,” Melissa warned.
            I regained my concentration and repeated the spell:

                        “Lochnobe, Rishcanoze, Ichna, Boo—hmm, about 20.”

            Nothing happened.
            “What’s twenty?” asked Cindy.
            “Oh, it’s the scale of reduction that I want.  I picked 1/20 our current size.”
            “So about three inches,” she nodded (sometimes Cin surprised us with things like that, but other times...).
            “Maybe my hesitation with the size threw it off?” I added
            “Negative.  Digital motion is required,” stated Rob.
            “Digital motion?” I asked.
            “Wiggle your fingers,” laughed Melissa.
            “Oh.”
            Wiggling my fingers, I repeated the incantation again:

                        “Lochnobe, Rishcanoze, Ichna, Poo, 20

            This time, there was a large puff of yellow smoke and standing where the cart had been was a large jug with a big number ‘20’ on it.  Looking into it, I discovered it was full of what looked like honey.
            “What happened this time?” I asked.
            “Boo,” said Melissa.
            “Aaaahh!” screamed Cindy.
            “What’s wrong, Cin?” asked Lisa.
            “She startled me.”
            “No, not that kind of ‘boo.’  I was trying to point out that the first time Larry said the spell, the last word he used was ‘boo.’  This time he said ‘poo.’” explained Melissa.
            “As in Winnie the...?” asked Cindy.
            “How would the book know about...?” pondered Lisa.
            “So now what?” I asked.
            “Spell reversal is required,” stated Rob.
            “Spell reversal, spell reversal, here it is,” I said thumbing through the index.  “...to reverse any of the transfiguration incantations, transpose the initial incantation...” I quoted.  “Is that it?”
            “Affirmative,” stated Rob.
            “Sounds simple enough.”
            Holding my arms out and wiggling my fingers again, I read the mispronounced spell backwards:

                        “Poo, Ichna, Rishcanoze, Lochnobe.”

            This time, just as the puff of yellow smoke disappeared and we were once again gazing upon the cart, I repeated the proper incantation.  When the next puff of smoke had dissipated, the cart had been reduced to the size of a toy.
            “Very good,” said Cindy, patting me on the back.
            “As long as we’re still full size, let’s put the cart into the vortex now,” suggested Lisa            With that, I picked up the cart and stuck it in the hole, but nothing happened.
            “Now what?” I asked Rob.
            “Drop it.”
            I let go of the cart and crossed my fingers.  No sooner had my hand cleared the opening, than there was a quick bright orange flash.  Peering into the old maple, I saw nothing.  The hole was once again completely empty.
            “Well, wherever the cart is now, I hope it’s in one piece,” pondered Cindy.
            “Rob, can you get a fix on it?” asked Melissa.
            “Negative.  Multi-dimensional scan is not possible.”
            “Well, who wants to be first?” I asked.
            “Let’s all go together,” suggested Lisa, grabbing hold of Cindy’s arm.
            “Good idea.  I’ll shrink the three of you and then place you at the opening to the tree.  Then I’ll shrink Rob and myself and we’ll fly up to join you.”
            “All right,” said Cindy hesitantly, prying Lisa’s fingers off of her arm, “just don’t turn me into a big jug of honey.”
            I went through the incantation, but nothing happened.  I tried a second time, but still nothing.
            “Why isn’t it working?” I asked.
            “Use the spell for animate objects, not inanimate,” suggested Melissa.
            Looking at the book again, I read the incantation for the Reduction Spell: Animate:

                        “Lochnobe, Rishcanoze, Tichna, Boo, 20

            In no time, they were all about three inches tall.  I bent down to find them in the thick grass, but before I could, I heard the blast of a police siren.  Standing up quickly, I saw one of those private security patrol cars cruise up to us.
            “What’ja doin’ here, boy?” asked the somewhat round security officer with the reflective sunglasses, as he climbed out of his car.
            “Ah... my robot and I were just out for a walk.”
            “This here is private property, boy.  I don’t reckon you saw that sign back yonder?”  The officer was adjusting his belt and walking suspiciously around Rob, peering at him from under his shades.  He looked like he had just stepped out of some bad movie.
            “Ah... no, I’m sorry I didn’t,” I said nervously.
            I bent down quickly to see if I could see where the girls were standing.  With this rent-a-cop wandering around, I didn’t want them to get stepped on.
            “What’ja lookin’ for, boy?”
            “Oh... nothing,” I hesitated, “I just dropped a contact lens.”
            There was no sign of the girls at all.
            “Well, you won’t find it in that there tall grass, now will you.”
            “No, I guess I won’t.  Well, it was nice talking to you, officer.  We’ve got to get going.  Have a nice day.”  I hurriedly closed the book and told Rob to follow me.
            “Not so fast, boy.  That wouldn’t be one of them there devil worship books?”
            “No, sir.  Not at all.  It’s a... a nature book.”
            “Let me see that,” he said reaching for “The Spell Book of Androganine.”  Before he could touch it, I took off into the air and circled around the top of the tree.
            “It is one of them devil worship books!” he yelled, reaching for his gun.
            Just as he pointed it up toward me, he started shaking his head from side to side and swatting at his face with his hands.
            “Blasted ‘skeeters!”  I assumed he was referring to mosquitoes.
            “Rob, grab him,” I shouted.
            Rob reached out and with one of his pincers and grabbed the officer’s hand.  The gun fell to the ground.
            “You’d better get down here, boy!  I’m not goin’ to tell you again!”  All the while he was yelling at him, he was swatting at his face.
            “Lochnobe, Rishcanoze, Tichna, Boo, 20,” I yelled, gesturing toward the rent-a-cop.
            The officer disappeared into a puff of yellow smoke and I floated back down to the ground.  Bending down I picked up the tiny officer from the grass and looked at him as he cowered in my palm.  He appeared to be crying.  I peered at him and made a face.
            “What do I do with him now?” I asked.
            “Put him back in his vehicle,” said Rob, “before we enter the dimensional vortex, reverse the incantation.”
            “Good thinking,” I said.
            I picked up his gun and walked over to his car.  Putting him on his front seat, I put the gun next to him and shut the door.
            “Rob, scan the area for the girls.”
            “Scanners indicate that they are right there,” he said, pointing at the hole in the tree.  Walking over, I looked down to see the three of them standing on the lip of the hole, waving at me.
            “How did they get up there,” I asked Rob.
            “At their present height, the ability of flight has returned to them.”
            “All right Rob, time to shrink you next.”  Repeating the incantation, I waited.  Nothing happened.  “Why didn’t it work?”
            Before Rob could answer, I heard a little voice in my ear.  It sounded like Melissa’s.  Turning my head around I saw a three-inch Melissa buzzing around my face.
            “Use the ‘Reduction Spell: Inanimate,” she repeated, landing on my shoulder.
            Having the memory of a slug, I looked at the book and repeated the other spell:

                        “Lochnobe, Rishcanoze, Ichna, Boo, 20.”

            A puff of smoke and Rob was out of sight.  As I bent down to pick him up, he passed me like a termite launching from its nest.  He had already initiated his flight sequence and was headed up toward the tree on his own.
            “My turn,” I said, flipping the page back to the ‘animate’ spell.
            “Good luck!” said the tiny Melissa, giving me a little kiss on the cheek.  (Hey!, that was new!)
            “I hope this works with only one hand of wiggling fingers,” I pondered to myself.
            I repeated the spell and before I knew it, I was the same size as the weeds.  Just then I realized that “The Spell Book of Androganine” was plummeting toward my head.  I don’t know why it didn’t shrink when I did, but I dodged out of harm’s way just in time.  Repeating the incantation for inanimate objects, I shrank the book.  Picking it up, I tucked it under my arm.  I took off from the grass; flying up to join the others in the maple tree.
            “Well,” I started, as I landed next to them on the lip of the hole, “that was fun.”
            “A bit too close for comfort if you ask me,” said Lisa.
            “We made pretty good mosquitoes, didn’t we,” smiled Cindy.
            “That was you guys?” I laughed, “Excellent mosquitoes.”
            “I guess it’s time to enter the dimensional vortex,” stated Melissa, looking down into the vast hole.
            “What are you going to do about him?” asked Lisa, pointing toward the cop.  He had now climbed onto his dashboard and we could just make him out; jumping up and down.
            “I almost forgot him.”
            I reversed the spell and watched as the smoke cleared.  He was lying on his side on top of the dashboard.  He was wedged up against the windshield, but he wasn’t hurt.
            “Let’s get out of here,” I said.  “Rob, what do we do next?”
            “Jump,” he stated.
            “Jump?” questioned Cindy.
            We all looked into the hole.  At our present height, what had previous been about eight inches, was now the equivalent of about 15-feet down.
            “Let’s hold hands and jump in together,” suggested Melissa, “this way none of us will get lost or separated.”
            Strapping the book back in its place on Rob’s back, we all held hands (or pincers as the case may be).  We all were a little bit nervous.
            “On the count of three,” I said, “Ready?  One, two, three!”
            With that we all jumped off the lip of the tree—except for Rob who rolled off the lip—and headed down toward the bottom to the hole.  Instead of landing on what had looked like the bottom, there was a blinding orange flash.  Instead of stopping at the bottom, we seemed to proceeded right through it, as if it were a puddle of water.
            We continued falling downward.  The fall began to take on a spinning sensation and we appeared to be heading toward a strobing white light.
            We continued down, unable to speak.  Sounds were all a blur, but were definitely present.
            Swirling, swirling.
            Swirling sounds, swirling lights, swirling colors.  The white strobe intensified as we got closer.
            Just as the white strobe became a blinding white spot engulfing us, the swirling came to a dead stop.  Everything went black.

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