"Call Him Perseus II"
Exiting the Time Tornado, we recognized the landscape of Ancient Greece far below as we began our descent to Mount Olympus. Rob confirmed that we were indeed in the correct time and location, but as we approached the tiled landing area, something felt different.
There was an uneasy silence as we landed on Mount Olympus. As we proceeded toward Athena’s palace, we noticed that there was no one else around. Unlike when we departed, the air was now clammy and muggy, but still hot. The weather had turned absolutely dreary.
We no longer heard the multitude of birds as before. The clip‑clop of the horses’ hooves and the bumping of the chariot wheels along the cobblestone streets were the only sounds we heard. Oh, and the occasional sounds of the warm air exhaling through the horses’ nostrils, which helped to break the silence with rhythmic precision.
“Rob, analysis,” I asked.
“There are no lifeform readings within sensor range.”
“What do you mean ‘no lifeform reading?’ Where is everybody?” asked Melissa.
“Unknown,” replied Rob.
“Is something not right?” asked Robin Hood.
“I’m not sure,” I mused, “there should be some people here, but the robot can’t find any. Not even the birds, Rob?”
“Negative. There are no lifeform readings.”
“That does not sound normal,” stated Little John.
“It’s not,” I stated, “Medusa’s sister must have returned to do some more damage.”
“What kind of damage?” asked Friar Tuck.
“To look at her will turn one immediately to stone,” explained Melissa.
“What happened to the fun we were going to have?” grumbled Tuck, slapping Alan‑a‑Dale on the chest with the back of his hand.
“Maybe we should put up the Multi‑Purpose Protection Field again?” suggested Melissa.
“Good idea,” I said. Having committed this spell to memory, I immediately recited the incantation:
“Volnos, Ictos, Frrompton, Zalgart.”
We once again heard the familiar ascending tones as the invisible force field materialized around us.
“What has happened?” asked Little John.
“Larry has just surrounded us with an invisible shield that will protect us from any dangers.”
“I would advise not looking at her when we come upon her. I’m not sure how good the Multi-Purpose Protection Field is at protecting our eyes,” I said, “Rob, deactivate your VIs.”
“Affirmative. Visual Inputs, deactivated.”
Alan‑a‑Dale began to sing:
“All is silent, all is calm,
Protective shield, keep us from harm,”
“Does he always do that?” I asked.
“Always,” chuckled Little John.
“Doesn’t he know any happy tunes?” asked Melissa.
“Only if he is in a happy mood,” smiled Robin. Alan nodded his agreement and smiled.
As we approached Athena’s palace, my worst fears were confirmed. We came upon nothing but stone statues. A stone centaur stood in front of a stone statue of Little Neptune. Standing at the entrance to Athena’s palace was the god of the sea himself, Poseidon; as still and as lifeless as the pillars that held up the palace.
“Rob, you’ve got to find Medusa’s sister,” I said, “her head should be made up of poisonous snakes, like Medusa’s was. Scan for a group of reptiles that seem to be attached to another creature.”
“There are no lifeforms within range.”
“Can you widen the range of the scan?” asked Melissa. At this point, our four friends from the Middle Ages all had wide open mouths and blank faces at the technical jargon that was being bantered around.
“Affirmative,” replied Rob, “I must increase power to the sensors.”
“Then do it,” I ordered, “Maximum sensor range.”
“To increase power to the sensors I must shut down other systems,” stated Rob, “Some of these circuits have never been shut down individually before,” Rob stated.
“I still don’t see a problem,” I stated.
“It is not known if I was a finished robot when Lived Neerg stole me from the Living Land Amalgamated Robotics and Artificial Intelligence Manufacturing Company.”
“Huh?” asked a confused Friar Tuck.
“LLARAIMCO, Inc.” explained Melissa, “it’s where Rob was constructed.”
“What about the other times you’ve been deactivated?” I asked.
“The circuits I refer to are protected doing routine deactivation periods.”
“Huh?” asked Friar Tuck, again.
“Rob, shut down each system in reversed priority order. One at a time, slowly,” I instructed, “let me know each one before you do it. Increase the sensors gradually and tell us the second you pick up any lifeform readings.”
“Affirmative. Shutting down external lighting.” Upon saying it, his lights went dark.
“Larry, could we lose him?” Melissa whispered softly.
“No, I think he’s just be overly-cautious,” I replied.
“Frequency transmitter...frequency receiver...”
“Still nothing?” I asked.
“Negative,” replied Rob, “shall I continue.”
“Yes.”
“Treadle movements...upper appendages...laser heat‑up circuits...”
“Anything?” asked Melissa.
“Negative.”
“She must be far away by now. How much more can he shut down?” she worriedly asked, “I don’t want to lose him.”
“He can shut down further,” I replied, confidently.
Rob continued to list his circuits and systems—one at a time—as he shut them down. Melissa got increasingly more nervous as the minutes ticked away. Rob was now pausing at least 30‑seconds between each system shut down to take a lifeform reading before moving on to the next.
“Memory banks: long term...”
“Do you have to?” I asked, beginning to feel a bit apprehensive about this whole operation
“Affirmative.”
“Will he lose his memory?” asked a very interested Robin.
“Not if it comes back on-line when he re‑energizes,” I replied. “Go ahead, Rob.”
“Affirmative.” There was a long pause. His vocabulary circuits had been shut down earlier and he was finding it increasingly difficult to find the words to express himself.
Finally he added, “turbo drive...memory banks: short term...audio outputs and inputs...cooling systems...logic circuits...power plant...” There was another long pause and then silence.
“Is he shutting those items down now?” asked Robin Hood. Modern technology appeared to fascinate him.
“I hope not,” I replied after a hesitation, “I think he’s just listing what he’s got left.”
“Affirmative,” came Rob’s stilted reply.
“Go for the turbo,” I said.
“What will that affect?” asked Melissa anxiously.
“Unfortunately, it will further slow down his response times.”
“A..fir..ma..tive..” came the sluggish reply, as his lightning fast turbo circuits shifted into the much slower, normal mode. I waited for a lifeform reading, but none came.
“Cooling system,” I said after taking a couple of moments, “I think they take a lot of power.”
“Larry, wait!” Melissa interrupted, “I forget to tell you. When we first came through the Time Tornado, both Rob’s power plant and cooling system sustained some damage.”
“A..fir..ma..tive... Coo..ling sys..tem..at..25%..... Pow..wer..plant... at.. 250%....”
“Reduced cooling and over-extended power,” I mused, shaking my head “not a good combination.”
“If he overheats, won’t he burn out his circuits, causing permanent and irreparable damage?” implored Melissa.
After a moment of thought, I added determinedly, “No, he won’t burn out his circuits.”
Grabbing “The Spell Book of Androganine” off his back, I quickly flipped through the pages until I found the spell I wanted:
“Frigitos, Zeb, 30 F.”
“What does that bit of wizardry mean?” asked Robin Hood.
“It means it’s going to get very cold in here, very quickly,” I replied, “tunic or no tunic,” I added, under my breath.
As I said that, the temperature within the Multi‑Purpose Protection Field dropped immediately to 30‑degrees Fahrenheit (the spell had the option of 63 other temperature calibrations, but Fahrenheit was the only one I understood. Don’t ask me how the book seemed to update itself over the centuries, for I have no idea).
“Go ahead Rob,” I instructed, “it’s safe to shut down what’s left of your cooling system now.”
“A...fir...ma...tive.” The familiar hum of Rob’s fans slowly faded away as, for the first time in his active life, they came to a complete stop. The eerie silence suddenly became eerier.
“Rob, let me know if you begin to overheat,” I instructed, “but to conserve your strength, just make some sort of beeping sound.”
“Larry,” pleaded Melissa, “there has to be another way to find Medusa’s sister.”
“If you think of one, let me know,” I shivered, my tunic affording little warmth. The temperature I chose was certainly a chilly one.
“Rob, please,” I continued, “lifeform readings?” There was an extremely, long pause.
“BEEP” came the sound from our metallic friend.
“Frigitos, Zeb, 20 F..,”
...I repeated the incantation, dropping the temperature another ten degrees.
Finally, Rob responded to the lifeform question, “Ne....ga....tive......”
“Shut down memory banks: short term,” I instructed, “But make sure that past hour’s of memory is maintained,” I cautioned.
“A.....fir.....ma....tive.....”
“Lifeform, damn it,” I muttered under my breath.
Robin and his Merry Men remained silent, evidently realizing the gravity of the situation. Even as the temperature dropped in the protective field, they continued their silence. In my tunic, I was shivering more than anyone. At one point I contemplated placing a separate, cooled Multi-Purpose Protection Field around Rob so that we could stay warm, but I was concerned about it hindering his sensors.
After about a three minute period—that felt like a frozen eternity—Rob began to say something. His speech pattern was stilted; barely understandable.
“Li....fff......forrrrr.....mmm. Dis.....stan.....nce: .....ni......nnn.....ty......se.....ve....nnn..... hu.....unnn...dr.....ed...... fff....eet. .........Dddd....oowwwnnnn......” Rob’s voice trailed off.
“9700 feet down?” I asked, in an icy-like daze.
“Down,” confirmed Melissa, “we’re on a mountain top, remember? Mount Olympus is 9750 feet in height. Medusa’s sister must be just about off the mountain.”
“Rob, try to maintain a fix on her. Don’t answer me now, just let us know if her position changes,” I ordered, teeth chattering. “Anyone else know how to drive a chariot?”
“I can, my little friend,” smiled Little John, taking hold of the reins.
“BEEP” came the sound again.
I took a deep, chilly breath and then repeated the Cooling Spell:
“Frigitos, Zeb, 10 F.”
“Little John, take us back toward that landing area, please,” I said, shivering even further. Melissa wrapped her arms around me and Robin offered his cape, which I gladly accepted.
“Certainly,” replied Little John, “Yah! Yah!” he shouted, pulling the team of four white horses around.
Under Little John’s masterful charioteering, the team took off with lightning speed as he deftly steered them down the steep and winding slopes of Mount Olympus. I curled up on the floor in the corner and shivered.
After about ten minutes of descent, Rob attempted to tell us that the lifeform was stationary and we were overtaking it, but I stopped him mid‑sentence. The less he spoke, the cooler his insides would remain, even with his power plant over producing at 250% power. The internal temperature of the protective field was now stable at 10‑degrees, yet I still didn’t want to risk burning out any circuits.
Another few minutes past. The chariot (which was now racing along a mountain road near the base of Olympus) came to a halt. I had instructed Rob to start reactivating both sets of memory banks and the cooling system.
The memory banks came back up immediately, but I didn’t hear the cooling system kick in. Rob attempted to say something, but I interrupted him before he could and then instructed him to reactive the turbo drive. The turbos kicked in almost immediately.
“Cooling system inoperative,” stated Rob, using his normal speech pattern.
“Drats,” I said, “hey, what about your auxiliary cooling system?”
“Negative. Auxiliary cooling was removed with the addition of the word processing unit.”
“Oh, yeh,” I sighed, “sorry about that.”
“Good going, Ernest Hemingway,” sniped Melissa.
“Ernest....?” started Little John.
“Never mind,” I interrupted, my teeth still chattering.
“Is there some sort of further problem?” asked Robin.
“Not if you enjoy being a popsicle.”
“A popsy what?” he asked.
“Forget it,” I said, “Rob, distance to lifeform?”
“25‑feet. Around the bend.”
“Human?” asked Melissa.
“Partially,” stated Rob, “partially reptilian.”
“All right. How are we going to do this?” I pondered.
Alan-a-Dale began to sing:
“It doth occur to me,
That if sister one doth see,
To stone at once they be,”
“That’s about the gist of it,” I nodded.
“Then around the bend the horses go,
With the chariot and us in tow,
They will all turn to stone,
Their loss we shan’t moan,
Within range we will know is the crone.
“Very perceptive,” nodded the fat friar approvingly, patting the minstrel on the back.
“Then I shall follow just a few paces behind the team, my bow at the ready” decided Robin Hood.
“But to look at her will turn you to stone as well,” reminded Little John.
“We have to try,” I said, “Robin, you’ll have to hit her with your eyes closed.”
“Shall I hit her in the heart?” he asked.
“No, strike her in the neck if you can. It has to be the neck.”
“Then I am ready,” he stated confidently.
I repeated the incantation for the Multi-Purpose Protection Field and the descending hum was heard as it came down. The sudden rush of warm air felt wonderful, especially to my chilled bones.
“Robin,” I added, “get an arrow ready. You’ll only get one shot at her. I’ve got to raise the field as soon as possible to avoid burning out Rob’s circuits.” I took a deep breath, still trying the shake the chill.
“Do you think he can do it?” asked Melissa.
“Of course he can,” stated Friar Tuck, “he is the finest shot in all of England.”
“Not to fear,” replied Robin.
Removing an arrow from his quiver, Robin Hood took aim at the trail ahead of us. I instructed Little John to proceed slowly around the bend.
Just as the chariot cleared the bend, we came to an abrupt halt as our four, white horses turned immediately to stone.
Robin pulled back his arrow, taking aim, when he suddenly froze.
“Omigosh, he’s turned to stone as well,” shouted Melissa.
Without hesitation, I leapt from the chariot. Racing to the stoned Robin Hood, I took out my trusty pocketknife. I could hear the snakes in Medusa’s sister’s hair; all hissing and spitting as they sounded the alarm. Quickly sawing through the end of the arrow, I was able to release it from the bow. It shot through the air at the speed of light, straight and true, just as Robin had aimed it.
The arrow hit its mark with deadly accuracy, for Robin Hood and the four white horses immediately became un-stoned. They shook their heads and stomped in place in an attempt to get their circulation going again.
Peering around the bend for the first time, I saw the most hideous creature I had ever seen. It wasn’t just her face that was disgustingly ugly, but her stringy hair was intertwined with dozens of ghastly, green serpents. We had come upon her while she slept under a tree by the side of the roadside (which accounted for Rob’s report that she was stationary). Medusa’s sister now lay dead on the ground—red blood pouring out of both ends of the wound. The arrow had pierced her neck and gone straight through to the other side.
Robin and I returned to the chariot where I immediately restored the Multi‑Purpose Protection Field and returned the temperature to a sub‑freezing 10‑degrees.
“What happened out there?” asked an anxious Melissa.
“As swift a as the great Robin Hood is, the sight of that creature turned him instantaneous to stone. Fortunately, he had been able to take deadly accurate aim. and for whatever reason, the bow and arrow didn’t turned to stone. All I did was to release the already aimed arrow and that was that.”
“Brilliant shooting, Rob,” lauded Little John, patting Robin Hood on the back.
“I was a two man effort, my friend,” he added, smiling at me.
“Let’s head back up to the top of the mountain,” I shivered, “everyone should have been returned to normal by now. I’ll start work on Rob’s power plant and cooling system.” With that, I removed the little tool box that was hidden within Rob’s treadle and began to work.
“Hang on, then” stated Little John, taking the reins of the chariot once again.
As he pulled the horses around, we began to race up the side of the mountain. Much to his surprise, instead of racing back up the winding, Olympian road, the team of milky white steeds took to flight at the first opportunity, soaring the chariot high into the blue sky.
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