"Lizards Don't Swim"
Now a koleapus doesn’t gallop like a horse does; he pretty much makes one gallop that propels him into the air and brings him back down the equivalent of two gallops later. It’s a very smooth ride and on this aluminum-like surface, it was a fairly musical ride as well, the four paws landing in succession on the hollow ground. Breaking the monotony of the eerie silence, my ears were filled with a relaxing ringing sound.
As we approached the lizard army, we heard the lizard General order them to halt and to assume the firing position. Cleo slowed to a walking pace and I placed a Multi-Purpose Protection Field around us—just in case. Glancing behind me, I could barely make out the silhouettes of the others who, for the most part, were still out of range. Hopefully the lizards’ vision wasn’t as acute as it could be.
Suddenly, the entire lizard army lowered their weapons and bowed low as the General shouted the order. Cleo had been recognized and all appeared well; that is until a lizard aide whispered something in the general’s ear. Whatever he said (or she said—being lizards, I couldn’t tell the males from the females) caused the army to quickly resume their firing position.
“Halt!” shouted the General.
I noticed that all of the guns were pointed directly at me. Even though they appeared to be only toy pop-gun rifles with ammunition made up of a cork and string, I wasn’t going to take any chances.
“I am Cleo,” announced my friend, “the last koleapus.”
“We know who you are,” stated the General, “but he is a meat-person. Sergeant, take him into custody.”
“No, wait?” started Cleo, “he is my friend.”
“Nonsense. It is coercion. He has kidnapped you and is forcing you to say that. He is our enemy; all of us. His kind is the enemy of this entire world of ours.” He motioned for the sergeant to proceed with my seizure.
All at once, there was a crack of thunder. To say it was a loud crack of thunder would be a gross understatement. This boom echoed in the emptiness for a good 10-seconds. Its reverberations seemed to get louder with each passing second, before finally fading.
“What was that?” I asked Cleo. All of the lizards were now looking skyward with terror in their little lizard eyes.
“I’m afraid it signals the beginning of Kowdoon.”
“What’s Kowdoon?”
“The great rain,” he replied matter-of-factly.
“General Iguana,” stated the sergeant, “we’ve got to get out of here. The flatlands are no place to be during Kowdoon.”
“Oh, magical koleapus,” pleaded the General, “please protect us during this time of impending doom.”
“Impending doom? Cleo, what’s going on?” I asked apprehensively.
“You’d better get the others here,” he advised.
“ROB!!!” I shouted, cupping my hands to my mouth. There was another crash of thunder, which I swear was louder than the first.
“Looking up I saw that the clouds that had been constantly blowing were actually increasing in speed and intensifying in their thickness and their black appearance. The lizards were becoming increasingly restless. Rob came up behind us, rockets on full.
“I am here,” he stated.
“Atmospheric reading,” I ordered. The others had quickly followed Rob’s lead and were now standing around us.
“More meat-people!” pointed the aide in a nervous whisper, “and a womba!”
“Impossible, wombas are extinct,” stated the General.
“All but me,” smiled Woba, proudly.
“Atmospheric pressure is 26.3 and dropping rapidly. Sensors indicate the approach of Kowdoon,” stated Rob.
“What’s Kowdoon?” asked Lisa.
“It is the great rain,” explained Woba, “it only affects the flatlands. During Kowdoon, everyone stays in their respective countries. Death would befall anyone who is caught out on the flatlands.”
“Wait a second!” boomed the General, “Kowdoon or no Kowdoon, I’m still in charge here..., and I want answers.”
There was another crash of thunder. This time it was even louder than the previous two and was accompanied by a near-blinding flash of lightning.
“Barometer reading 24.7 and dropping.”
“Cleo, explain everything about us to General Iguana, quickly,” I said, pulling Woba and Rob aside. “Now, you guys tell me what exactly is this Kowdoon?”
“It is a rainstorm that lasts about 30-ergins....”
“27-ergins 24-zofoes,” corrected Rob.
“Ergins and zofoes? Rob, just translate into time we understand, please,” I urged.
“They equate roughly to your minutes and seconds.”
“And just how much rain falls during this period?” asked Melissa.
“The average amount over the past 12-quans...”
“Seven centuries,” translated Cindy, without batting an eyelash.
“Affirmative,” continued Rob, “Average rainfall has been 10-meters.”
“That’s over 30-feet!” shouted Cindy. We looked at her in amazement.
“Rob, just how soon until nearly a foot-a-minute of water comes crashing down on us?” asked Lisa, very calmly.
“5.3-minutes.”
“What happens to all of this water?” asked Melissa.
“It turns the flatlands into a sea which is then evaporated at a high rate of speed by the three suns,” explained Woba. There was another flash and crash.
“I know I’m going to regret asking this, but at what temperature do the suns evaporate 30-feet of water?” asked Lisa.
“Over 200-degrees Celsius,” stated Rob, “no exact temperature reading has ever been recorded.”
There was complete silence. That temperature was equal to about 500-degrees Fahrenheit, twice the boiling point of water.
“Rob, how are we going to survive a deluge of 30-feet of water and then a such a massive temperature increase?” I asked.
“Unknown.”
“Larry,” interrupted Cleo, “General Iguana and his army have all been briefed as to who you are and why you’ve come. As it turns out, they are also going to Living Land in order to...” Cleo was interrupted by more thunder and lightning. This time, heavy winds kicked in.
“Time to Kowdoon: 4-minutes. Barometric pressure: 22.5 and dropping. Wind speed: 32-knots.”
“How far is it to the nearest country?” I asked, raising my voice slightly to be heard over the winds.
“18.34-kilometers,” stated Rob.
“Can we make it using the Conveyance Spell at Speed Level 4?” asked Cindy. She too had to raise her voice to be heard over the wind and thunder, which was now almost continuous.
“Negative.”
“Larry, what about ‘The Spell Book of Androganine’?” asked Lisa, almost in a shout, “maybe there’s something in there?”
“Page 2587,” interjected Cleo.
“How do you know that?” I asked, quickly leafing through the great book. Melissa helped me keep the pages from blowing around.
“As a young koleapus, the Spell Book was mandatory learning; committing it to memory. Unfortunately I only remember the page numbers, not the spells themselves.”
“Here it is,” shouted an excited Melissa, “Encapsulated Life Support Pod.”
“The Els-pod,” smiled Cleo. (I think it was smile; it’s hard to tell with zebra lips.)
“Please!” begged the General, “help us! Lizards don’t swim!”
“Don’t worry, General,” I was now in a full shout, “we’ll help your army as well as ourselves.”
“Time to Kowdoon: 2.7-minutes. Barometric...”
“Quickly, Larry! We don’t have much time,” pressed Melissa, “and this spell looks vastly more complicated than the others.”
“All right, let me see it,” I said, reading the elaborate spell.
The first thing I had to do was to encircle the desired group at high speed. To achieve this, I activated the Conveyance Spell on myself and zipped around the group at Speed Level 1, increasing to 4 once I got my balance, which wasn’t easy with the high winds whipping at us. I then repeated Phase I:
“Frogtos, Erecktos, Vernoch, Dreb!”
As I said this, there appeared a swirl of colors in my wake as I went around everyone. It looked as if there was a rainbow coming from me. With every revolution I made, the rainbow got brighter and brighter. Beneath it, an invisible, hard shell was beginning to form.
This spell was a very powerful one, taking total control of my body as I wove its magic around the group. I was barely visible to the others as the spell further increased my speed well passed the 140-mph mark. All I could see turned into a blur. I held on tightly to the bulky book as I somehow managed to read Phase II of the spell:
“Risack, Grompos, Xluivln, Elevatra!”
This time the entire group was elevated into the air and my body continued to be propelled around them; not only horizontally, but not vertically, forming a sphere of color around them. This too hardened into a protective shell.
There was one more portion of the spell to read and then I’d be finished. The onslaught of the storm around me went completely unnoticed. The others informed me later that is was just about this time that the sky opened up and the deluge began. Constant lightning and near-deafening thunder accompanied the rains. I repeated the final portion of the spell; Phase III:
“Yoctob, Wondros, Coliptis!”
This phase served two purposes: in addition to finishing off the spell, it also placed little seats in the Els-pod that I had been weaving around the group. These seats rose up from the bottom on little poles.
As the last syllable of Phase III drifted off my lips, my body came to an abrupt halt; the spell instantaneously releasing me. I dropped to the ground into a pool of water, with a splat. I now found myself physically drained.., sickeningly dizzy.., soaking wet.., on the verge of sheer exhaustion.., and on the outside of the Els-pod!
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