"Living Land At Last"
By touching the sides of my Multi-Purpose Protection Field, I could tell that the suns overhead were blazing down on this strange dimension. The external water temperature was getting increasingly hotter and as I looked up I could begin to see the suns getting brighter as the water level boiled off at 500-plus degrees.
In front of me, I noticed that the way was beginning to get lighter. I pressed onward through the waters as the light rays of the suns shone down on me. This new light helped to illuminate the way in front of me, getting brighter as I approached it. Before I knew it, I was right on top of this area of light. No sooner had I decided to instruct my feet to halt, than I splashed out of the ocean onto a small patch of the aluminum flatland. Coming to a complete halt, I looked around.
I found myself standing on a strip of flatland about 10-feet wide and extending out in both directions as far the eye could see. In front of me was a beautiful and colorful land (which I assumed was Living Land) and behind me was the wall of water, magically rising about 10-feet above me.
Evidently (as it was explained to me later) the Kowdoon would rain down on the flatlands only, actually stopping about ten feet away from the borders of each country in this dimension. The inhabitants would usually all gather along their borders to watch the spectacle as this 30-foot wall of water rose in front of them and then boiled off at a high rate of speed. Within the confines of their countries, the temperature would stay constant and comfortable as they watched. It was the sort of spectator event that each region usually made a day of; picnics, events, games—sort of a Kowdoon Festival.
For some reason, though, I was completely alone. There was no one watching the Kowdoon this time.
The water wall was dissipating rapidly. Plumes of steam rose up toward the three bright spheres of deep blue, red and yellow, in the clear sky. It was quite a sight.
When the last of the water had evaporated, and the steam had all cleared away, I noticed the grey clouds begin to roll in again. Suddenly, all was once again black and white, the three suns barely peeking through the rapidly rolling clouds.
Looking outward onto the flatland, I saw the Els-pod laying about a mile away. I zipped toward them at Speed Level 3, arriving in a few seconds. Wiping the residual moisture off, I gazed into the pod. Surprisingly, I found three nearly naked, sweaty women and a whole slew of lizards lying on the backs, with their little legs in the air; basking.
* * * *
After the Els-pod had been removed (which was much easier than putting it in place was—five simple words and it was history) we were all once again bathed in the glorious glow that is black and white.
The girls washed up the best they could with water provided by the lizards from their canteens. After they had redressed themselves and the lizards had reassembled in formation we headed back toward Living Land—lazily using the Conveyance Spell to keep up with the General and his swiftly marching troops.
“Something is not right,” sighed Cleo, as we arrived at the border of Living Land.
“What do you mean,” I asked.
“During Kowdoon, everyone gathers at the border of their land and watches. There’s no one here.”
“Maybe they all went home,” suggested Cindy.
“No, Kowdoon is a day long festival. They’d all still be here,” replied Cleo in worried tones.
“When I popped out of the ocean over here, there was no one around.” I added.
“What are you saying, Cleo?” asked Melissa.
“I’m saying that something in Living Land must be terribly wrong to have kept everyone away from Kowdoon.”
“That’s why we’re here,” stated General Iguana, “if that varmint Lived Neerg is here, we will seize him and punish him for his crimes.”
“Did he just call the Green Devil a ‘varmint’?” whispered Lisa.
“Shhhh,” cautioned Melissa.
“Varmint,” stated Rob, “a regional noun. A person or animal considered undesirable, obnoxious...”
“Rob, a definition was not required,” whispered Melissa.
“General Iguana,” I said loudly, hoping he hadn’t been offended by my comrades’ conversation, “you mentioned punishing Lived Neerg for his crimes. What are they?”
“Desecration of our monument to Tyrannosaurus Bob.”
Lisa looked over at Cindy as the two of them started to snicker. Melissa made the mistake of glancing over at them and soon all three of them were trying not to laugh.
“Ah... General,” I started, attempting to conceal my smile and joke back my laughter, “just what did Lived Neerg do to your monument of—let’s see, what did you call it—Tyrannosaurus... Bob was it?” All four of us were now in tears as we tried to fight back the laughter.
“Neerg ripped his arms off, is what he did,” stated the General in all seriousness.
You could see the level of his anger rise slightly at our apparent lack of concern or proper respect for the sacred “T-Bob.”
“Would you excuse me for a moment, General,” I said, fighting off the laughter, “forward, Speed Level 3,” I instructed my feet. I zipped about a mile away from the others and let out the most uproarious laugh I had ever laughed.
Shortly, I found myself joined by the girls; who had realized why I had left. Soon all four of us were rolling in side splitting laughter—if you can call it rolling—since we were still elevated six inches off the ground due to the Conveyance Spell.
After a few moments, Cleo galloped up, informing us that the General was becoming insulted and that we should rejoin him immediately. We regained our composure and quickly returned to the group.
“We’re sorry, General,” apologized Melissa, “it’s just that where we come from, he’s known as Tyrannosaurus-Rex.”
“T-Bob was his father,” stated the General proudly.
“Oh,” replied Melissa.
“Getting back to the matter at hand,” urged Cleo, ever so diplomatically.
“Yes,” said Lisa, “well, what would Lived Neerg want with the arms of a statue?”
“A monument, ma’am,” corrected the lizard aide.
“A monument,” I conceded.
“I believe I can answer that one,” interrupted Woba, who had been nibbling on the grasses along the border of Living Land. “The arms of Tyrannosaurus Bob are made of lacertinium, a metal alloy of impregnable properties. If this was melted down and hammered out into sheets, the Green Devil could form it into whatever he wanted, rendering himself indestructible.”
“When this mess all started, Lived Neerg was in our dimension mumbling about capturing a koleapus,” reminded Cindy, “what would he do with you?” she asked of Cleo.
“I don’t know.”
“Is there anything in Living Land that could aid him in the melting down of the monument’s arms?” asked Melissa.
“Affirmative,” replied Rob, “the Living Land Amalgamated Robotics and Artificial Intelligence Manufacturing Company.”
“Incorporated,” reminded Woba.
“Isn’t that where you were built?” asked Cindy.
“Affirmative. LLARAIMCO, Inc.”
“So, he could use the sheets of lacertinium to build an indestructible robot,” I stated with all of the deductive confidence of Sherlock Holmes.
“An army of indestructible robots,” corrected General Iguana.
“An army?” asked Lisa in a skeptical tone, “Just how big were the arms of Tyrannosaurus Bob?”
“Big,” stated Cleo.
“Then that must be part of his plan,” I stated, “Let’s head toward LLARAIMCO, Inc.”
“Before we enter Living Land, there are some rules that must be adhered to,” stated Cleo.
“What kind of rules?” asked Melissa.
“Rule #1: Nothing may be removed from Living Land.”
“Sounds easy enough,” said Cindy.
“Rule #2: Abide by all signs, posted or otherwise and keep on authorized paths. Rule #3: No harm will come to any inhabitant of Living Land, either accidental or intentional. And finally, Rule #4:,” Cleo directed this one to Woba, “There is absolutely no eating of any unauthorized flora! That means grasses!”
“I asked them last time if they were alive before I ate them,” defended Woba, “They were either very rude or just ordinary grasses, because they refused to answer me, so I ate them.”
“What is he talking about?” asked Lisa.
“I have no idea,” chuckled Melissa, “but I think it’s better if we don’t ask him to explain it any further.”
“Hey,” replied Woba somewhat indignantly, “I heard that.”
“Since you are all with me,” continued Cleo, “we can do away with the customary interrogations and searches but I am afraid you’re all still going to have to go through the Decontamination Station—except of course you and your army, General.”
The lizard General nodded.
“Is all of that really necessary?” I asked.
“I’m afraid it is. You see, in Living Land—as the name implies—everything is alive.”
“Everything?” asked Cindy.
“Everything; rocks, trees, clouds, mountains—virtually everything.”
“Except the dirt!” added Woba.
“Yes, except the actual soil,” concurred Cleo, “But there’s plenty of life in the soil, so you’d be better off considering it alive as well.
“So the decontamination is to avoid foreign germs from wreaking havoc on the country’s occupants?” asked Melissa.
“Affirmative,” stated Rob, “no one from outside the Magic Lands is allowed to enter Living Land.”
“Normally that would be right,” remarked Cleo, “but I’m one of the few who can grant access without the normal quarantine period. I guess mythology and extinction have their privilege.”
“Well, let’s go in then,” I said, “Rob, inform us of any mechanical presence. If Lived Neerg has made a race of indestructible robots, the sooner we find them—instead of the other way around—the better.”
With that, our little procession proceeded along the borderline of Living Land toward the main gate. Cindy and Lisa rode upon Cleo and Woba respectively. Melissa and I walked along with Rob rolling along just behind us, followed by General Iguana and his army of lizards.
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